DARK SIDE
70
By: Wayne Brown
(Writer’s Note: I wrote this verse for my good friend, Ken Snowden known here as saddlerider1. He is a great story-teller and a wonderful poet who is visited all too frequently by the shadow of the dark side. We all are but Ken is one of those who is very aware of the presence. I wrote this to let him know that we feel that touch of the dark side from time to time.)
What is that which calls to me from the dark side
Is it word of sickness or one who has surely died?
Could it be depression conjured by a mind that lied
Is it just me calling to myself from the dark side?
Fear, pain, and horror call out from the dark depths
Reaching with their fingers to pull me down the steps
I stand in fascination at dark’s open, creaking door
Knowing the time has come to enter here once more
What lies beyond the light that shines down the stair?
What unthinkable events lay in wait for me there?
The voices call out to come down the creaking way
I stand at the door in fascination wanting to run away
Who’s there? Who calls my name from the dark below?
Who calls out my name from a place I don’t want to go?
Is it someone I know or someone I so long to see?
Must I climb down those stairs to satisfy my curiosity?
Cold sweat rolls down my face as I gaze down into the dark
Nothing moving, only voices calling for me to take my mark
Come down the stairs and join the fold, feel the misery
Come down into the dark and see what we can see
Hypnotized and fascinated my heart longs to enter here
Though breath is short and hands shake; there’s no fear
I have seen that which is behind these doors over days that I live
I have suffered in their agony but my soul I will not give
Can you come within and see the things we have here for you?
Can you come within and share our fears; so sad, so true?
We’ll not harm you; cause you distress; nothing very gory
Just hear our words, live our tales, release our misery story
The dark side calls as if a poet’s muse sitting on a shoulder tall
The dark side lurks deep within ourselves, every one of us; all
Stand before the door and hear the calls from down below
It’s the voices of the dark side, beckoning you to go.
What is that which calls to me from the dark side
Is it word of sickness or one who has surely died?
Could it be depression conjured by a mind that lied
Is it just me calling to myself from the dark side?
© Copyright Wbrown2011. All Rights Reserved.
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@Poohgranma...Ken has stepped away a bit here lately to shake the dark a bit. While he does relate it so well in both verse and story, I think he wants to be able to change his approach at times and let the sunshine on his writing a bit more. I was hoping that by writing this it could be a way to let him know that we all hear the calls from the dark and we all respond to them differently. Ken is one of the most honest and open-hearted writers that I have encountered here and his very purpose in being here has been to share some of those emotions which have haunted him in his life journey. I think that becomes more draining and exhausting that one knows when we start down that road. At some point, it is uplifting but only if some of the load comes off in the process. I am sure Ken will appreciate your understanding once he sees this post. I certainly thank you for those great words of encouragement and your empathy. WB
Wayne, I rarely have to step away from a hub and come back before I comment, but in this case, that's exactly what I have to do. The darkness has threatened to overcome my own life recently with some events outside my control, and I'm in the process of tracking down the sunshine also. I'll be back after a quick mop up to say something more. Bless you for being a friend to Ken, and if you talk to him - let him know some of us are praying for him.
This poem is so powerful. Just like the dark side, you are drawn to it -- and you want to turn away, but you must (in this case) look and read . . .
Must I climb down those stairs to satisfy my curiosity?
Inquiring minds want to know -- what is your part in the videos? Of course, because I think you can do anything -- I assumed you wrote, sang, played . . . them. But . . . Yes, I'm a big fan!
This was intense and wonderful, Wayne. I think anyone who has a life can relate to the dark side and anyone who writes can relate to how it seems to creep in and overtake any/everything you write-at least for awhile. Most of what I write on the creative side tends to be dark. Even as a kid it was always about sadness, death or pain. Criminy, my mom gave a poem I wrote for a project to my doctor when I was in 6th grade because they were afraid I was going to commit suicide because the poem was about death. I had no intention of it whatsoever, I just wrote what came in my head. Anyway, thank you for showing such kindness and compassion to Saddlerider, though I can assure it will reach more than just him :) Some of the comments you've left me on my hubs have played a part in me sticking around.
@Motown2Chitown...saddlerider1 is a great supporter of folks here at the Hub...very kind and very supportive. Life has tested him and he feels compelled to share those experiences which tend to bring the dark side near. Still, he writes with a beauty and emotion that allows you to look beyond that ugliness and see the talent of his craft. I know I do some dark stuff from time to time and it can be a draining process...pulling so hard at one's emotions...reliving experiences, assuming personas. I just wanted Ken to know that we all wrestle with it, he can talk about it more openly than many of can but we all fight to keep our heads in the sunlight and Ken is right there with us...punching away. WB
@Truckstop Sally...I don't really know what drives my dark side. I think it is a curiosity as to the thought processes involved...what's going on inside that head that causes those decisions, those thoughts, those desires. That curiosity is the magnetism that draws so hard at you...on the one hand wanting to turn away yet on the other wanting to know just a bit more before you go. It allows us to climb back down those dark stairs again and again. Guy Clark, a prolific writer of songs wrote the first song, "The Dark". I chose it because it gives the dark a certain known comfort as he makes you feel bathed in it with his description. His is more about the physical dark at the end of day than the dark of depression near the edge of life. I can only wish I wrote that song. Clark has written many good ones including "Desparadoes Waiting For A Train" "Let Him Roll" "Randall Knife", and "Texas 1847". The other video gives a different perspective and I just happened upon it. I felt both were appropriate to the piece so I went with it as well to lend to a heavier side. WB
@rkhyclak....I know what you mean. My sister occassionally gets frightened by my writing of the "Conversation Pieces" series and bugs me about where those thoughts come from. Gosh, I don't know...they are just there and I put them on paper. If you really let go of your mind, lots of stuff will gush out...you then have to decide what works and what doesn't. But I agree with you, I truly believe that all writers soon or later find that edge of darkeness and are drawn to write about it. Thanks much, Bekka! WB
wow! this really spoke to me. Bravo! Bravo!~loved it!
@Jo_Goldsmith11...Thank you! I can relate because my dark side emerges on some frequency to visit my writing and I kin of become an instrument of it. Glad you liked it. WB
Loved this piece. It resonates with me and probably most writers. In fact I think it lies at the heart of most comedians as well. You are a compassionate and loyal friend. Up, awesome and beautiful.
The darkness seems to reach for the artistic and creative person a lot. Some of my younger writings were apparently done in a black hole!
Wayne, you are kind, compassionate and a true friend indeed.
@breakfastpop...That is so true..the dark side does come out with many comedians. I hear some folks say that they met so and so and he wasn't even funny as if to say that a guy is funny all the time...in fact having to be funny all the time could send one to the dark side. Thanks, Poppy! WB
@Hypenbird...I think that is quite true and especially among many drawn to the poetic side. Poe's obsession with the darkness was rather alluring. Some of my best stuff has come from the dark side so I can't complain but I can see where it will get in your head if you stay there too long. I guess then you go "Goth" and come in with the black nails and pale makeup! LOL! WB
This poem is one most of us can relate to at some point in our lives. I think very highly of Ken and I hope he knows many people feel that way. You are so talented with all of your writing and this seems to me to be a precious gift to a friend that many relate to. Up and awesome!
I have to agree with Pam on this one we all can relate to this at some point in our lives. Very well written poem :) ge
I am so torn on this subject. Not your compassion, not Saddleriders suffering. But in my mind his work excels, it just soars. Therefore, did the suffering hone the craft? Would we have his tremendous literature?
Your support for your friend Ken is such an admirable gesture. Bravo.
Great work and it causes one to pause. Many creative folks think their "art" will help them understand the darkness or to eliminate it...not always and not permanently.
Hi WB, You put these words together perfectly. The fact that you wrote them for Saddlerider1, makes them more special. I vote this up!
The reeaching out is the thing, as I see it, even when we enter the dark side, which we must from time to time. That is the place where we can learn something about ourselves, if we want to. The learning can be difficult, 'cos we're on a learning curve and we feel the toughness. Sometimes we enter there just to learn and sometimes we enter there to hide. What we want the most is someone to follow us and this you have done beautifully. I'm sure your friend hears your footsteps, the echo of his pain as he learns something there, something hiddden from the sunlight of his usual reality. I loved the poem, the whole construction and also the message of your reaching out. That is most wonderful to read - the understanding. Cheers!
Thumbs up for expressing so well what we all struggle with from time to time, some more often than others.
Voted up & useful. Thanks.
@Pamela99...The more comments I hear, the more I am convinced that so many of us who write deal with the dark side a bit at times. I think it is just an element of the human emotions string. If we can find some comfort with it, there is a gold mine of emotion to be brought into the light and share. Thanks, Pam .WB
@geegee77...Yes, it's just all part of living I think. Thanks for stopping by. WB
@mckbirdbks...I think you make a good point. To know and understand our dark sides may not always be the same as experiencing them. If it indeed is tormenting to do so then maybe it is not the best for us. Ken writes some really good stuff which I think derives from his experiences with life thus he draws from it...how painful that I is I am not sure but I agree with you that it would be a shame to lose that talent. WB
@radioguy...We all have face our own dark sides and deal with whatever is in there. That is a bigger task for some than others. I have seen some truly courageous writers come forward here and open themselves up in confession with dark side events. It takes talent to write it and courage to share it. WB
@samiaali...Thank you, so glad you liked the poem. I pretty much put it down as it came to me after the first verse fell into place. Thanks much. WB
@chspublish...I think one of the great strengths of the Hub is that interaction between the writers and the opportunity to share our emotions and concerns with others. We learn so much about ourselves when we bounce it off of others. Sometimes we find that what seemed like "alone" is not alone at all...one just has to share the thought to find out how many others are of the same mind or have had a similar experience. That builds faith and confidence and ultimately I think it makes us all better for it. WB
@Ken R. Abell....Good to see you Ken...thanks for stopping by and sharing a comment with us! WB
I suspect creative people struggle a lot with a very wide range of emotions and perhaps maintaining a balance is harder for them.
This is insightful and thought provoking.
@mslizzee...I think your point is well-taken. Creativity does span a broad range of emotions. I think that in part is the reason some of us can write as well as we do because we can empathize with others in many ways. I think there is a part of the dark side of me that is often taunting that what I do is never enough or never good enough...needing to be better. There is also a part of it that lets me feel the pain and the desolation in others and gives me the ability to write about better than I might think at times. For that I am grateful although it is still a rather exhaustive effort to do it. Thanks for the good words and your great comments. WB
WB - I loved the poem and especially the first video. You are a good soul Wayne. I do think that writers tend to "feel" a little more - and maybe that's what makes a good writer. Connecting to what everyone feels but can not express. I also have a dark side that I try not to cater to - sometimes I just have to go down those steps anyway - just to prove I am not afraid. Then I haul ass right back up:)!
Wayne - Good to read you again. Nice to have met ya'll out in Texas. It's a memorable night that we will always remember as we raised the roof a bit.
Now to the dark side. I prefer not to spend too much time there myself. When I get real quiet though, rest assured that is where I usually reside. It has always been beneficial to my mental well being to not deny that it exists. It exists in everyone from time to time. Dealing with it constructively as an individual, not dragging people along with me on that journey, is best.
Excellent Hub.
The Frog
You nailed this one, Wayne. I think we can all relate on some level...some of us are more tormented than others, for reasons not understood. Perhaps some feel more intensely...You are a caring spirit, Wayne, and than makes you darned special in my book! Voted up and awesome!
@RealHousewife...That video "The Dark" by Guy Clark is one of my favorites by him. It is a more serene approach to that time of day when the world sighs but I think a good mind set for us to use with our dark side. Thanks for the good words RH. WB
@The Frog Prince...Thanks for the good words. We too had a great time. I wish we could have made it last a bit longer...maybe had a cigar and some light BS! LOL! Next Time! WB
tnderhrt23...Thank you. My dad had a dark side associated with his childhood, growing up in a sharecropper family, his dad abandoning him, his brothers and his mother and then the rigors of WWII. He never complained or did he expose much of it to me but I know that parts of it haunted him throughout his life. I think that it where my empathy comes from. WB
Wayne, is Johnny Cash your real daddy? ;-)
@Motown2Chitown...Mama never really said but since I am going over to visit her tomorrow and celebrate her 83rd birthday, it is only fitting that I ask! LOL! Thanks much! WB
I read a story just the other day, Wayne, that you would relate to. It is by vocalcoach called "The Power of Words - An Amazing Story". Audrey, like you, has an abundance of compassion and understanding. This is a beauty, Wayne, on a scary topic that most of us are familiar with on varying levels. I was always touched by Mike Wallace of Sixty Minutes and his commercial regarding depression. Bitter irony that the brightest, most analytical, with a high level of sensitivity, seem to suffer in the tight clutches of depression the most.
My dear friend Wayne Brown, first and foremost let me say that this brilliant poem describing your description of the dark side is captivating. Your opening verse and this line in particular I associate with
"Could it be depression conjured by a mind that lied. Is it just me calling to myself from the dark side?"
As you remember when I first joined the Hubs I wrote of my upbringing and touched on some of the abuse growing up. I then penned my struggles with my marriage in a Divorce set of hubs I wrote, even though I used a fictitious name, I know many of you knew it was me.
I wrote of the pain of losing my children for divorcing their mother and it's been many years now since seeing or speaking to them. I went on further to write of My Legacy to my children series and identified and discussed my upbringing so they could know and try to understand their Dad going through all of these problems and who he really was.
Through all of these exercises in writing I was becoming an amateur writer. Till joining the hubs I had never written a poem, never written a short story, so when I started receiving overwhelming accolades on my writing skills it made me dig deeper into my subconscious and write about what I experienced up till then.
Up until my divorce I went through a total makeover in personality. I thought I knew myself, I felt I had a grip on my life, I was a very happy and joyful guy till around 1998 and then all hell broke loose when I walked through the doors of Hell and the divorce courts and loss of my self esteem, self worth, career at the time, not seeing my children and hitting the bottle due to it all.
The demons from my past crept back and piled up on me knowing that I was at the weakest point of my life, losing everything I loved and stood for. I tried my hardest to keep it together but Jack brought me down and misery set in. So when I came to the hubs and started reading so many great hubs about so many topics and reading the stories of fellow hubbers like yourself, I read some who laid bare their heart felt feelings, I knew this would be a medium to attempt to spill my guts out in.
It didn't take long before I fell into the dark side of writing and it came naturally, almost gifted to me by the devil himself, guiding me and allowing me to create stories and poems that would let my demons run rampant and take my quill and dip it in my spilled blood of my hurt and pain and past life of abuse as a child and teen.
I found the more I wrote the more came out and even though it often exhausted me and sent me running to my cave to get away and recharge my soul, I knew I had to keep writing. Many of my followers immediately felt my pain and some knew of my past and it comforted them, knowing they had similar experiences and it was a healing to them to hear it from someone else. Many shed tears and many gave me praise as a talented poet.
I don't consider myself gifted, I only consider worthy enough to pen my souls feelings because I lived most of what I write about. Yes there are times where my poem is totally fictitious, yet because people read through the lines they immediately think it's actually me, yet it isn't. I have become able through writing as much as I have, to take a subject and set the stage for a dark sided twist. Stephen King hasn't lived everything he writes about, yet the novels he has produced have been tormented, twisted, scary and horror filled. I seem to be able to do the same with some of my scribes. I know you have done the same with your dark sided writes.
So my friend I want to thank you and all of your followers who have commented here and thank them as well for their kind words of support and caring. I have promised a few of my followers that they will see a different side of Vincent and Saddlerider in future writes, I hope to keep you all interested and grace my hubs with your varied comments. Wayne you are a kindred spirit and I again thank you for this write and the mention of my name. You chose very wisely and the videos definitely fit in perfectly. Bravo my friend, I bow before thee as a fellow humble poet. Hugs.
@Amy Becherer...I will have to find that and read it...Thanks for the great comments.
@saddleridder1...Ken, I wanted you to see how many people here see the dark side and wrestle with it in the hope that you would realize that it is not just you who deals with it. We all know you want to write on the bright side of the road and we readily welcome it. But, it that does not work, rather than hide in the cave, come out and manage the dark side and ply your craft. You have a talent to share and a duty to share it and I so hope that you can find a balance in all of that which will allow you to be happy and excited about what you have written...it is no small deal. God Bless, My Friend. WB
Wayne
Touched my heart immensely ...
Having known Saddlerider for a while, I know he's one of the good guys out there and his writing always sends shivers down my spine. An inspiration to us all ...
Thanks for sharing this with us
As a writer, sadly dark side sometimes is too familiar with us, nobody tottaly free from it. Always trying at our best to conquering it will make us better person every single day. Great encouraging poem, Sir. You are great friend a man can have. Woman can have too. ^^
I am just speechless !! Awesome description of the dark side....Great read! Pushed all the buttons!! Thanks for sharing your talents with us !
Absolutely fantastic. Do you know me? No, of couse you don´t, yet that is how it felt.
You are some great writer.
The dark side is indeed
a sad place to be.
But, there's always hope
and light at the other end for you and me.
-------------------------------------------
Love will always overpower
your low tones and fear
you'll find true joy and never look back
again to those bad times at your rear.
---------------------------------------------
Just walk through the tunnel
and open that door
courage, faith and endurance
that's the only cure!
----------------------------------------------
We all get to experience the dark side now and again. Keep hanging on and pushing forward to all those feeling like they are still there.
Great hub. Enjoyed reading it.
I've been struggling with myself how to comment here. I am awed by the talent of both you, Wayne, and Ken, one of my dearest, oldest Hub friends, while my love of light is overpowering my response to the theme.
Let me just quote a valuable piece I just read as my reply here:
"Art is simply a result of expression during right feeling. It's a result of a grip on the fundamentals of nature, the spirit of life, the constructive force, the secret of growth, a real understanding of the relative importance of things, order, balance. Any material will do. After all, the object is not to make art, but to be in the wonderful state which makes art inevitable."
- Robert Henri, from his book The Art Spirit
Wonderful talent!!!
So true about our dark sides. Ken has the courage and integrity to meet his head-on, and give it voice whereas others bury it within. Writing unlocks the door and eventually, the words tumble forth; it is our confessional. It was mine for years before most of my demons finally found some peace – although some inevitably remained and the dark side still emerges at times to the chagrin of my family and friends. I sometimes wonder if writers are more open and candid by nature. I truly believe that the creativity we have is often born of pain and the subsequent compassion we have for others. The fact that writers understand and share this openly with each other on the hub is really quite remarkable. It shows the talent and grace of extraordinary writers such as you, Wayne, Ken, and others.
This song is outstanding – I never heard it before. “It is so dark, you can smell the moon.” Whoa! Oh yeah.
Your poem is so beautifully written and is such an inspiration to others in letting them know they are not alone.
“I have seen that which is behind these doors over days that I live
I have suffered in their agony but my soul I will not give.”
Extraordinary. Thank you.
Great poem Wayne. Really powerful.
Thanks so much to everyone for the great comments noted above. I am currently on a trip to visit my mother and celebrate her 83rd birthday. I am relegated to texting which is not my favorite sport! LOL! WB
Tell Mama we all wish her a Happy, Happy Birthday! You have a safe trip, Wayne! :-)
Wonderful poem!
@ChristineVianello...Thank you, I appreciate the good words! WB
I applaud your loyalty to saddlerider1 and the creativity displayed in this finely crafty poetic hub, Wayne Brown! The feeling of solitude as one experiences in meditation, is vastly different from that of despair, isolation, anger and recrimination which the dark side may contain.
Each of us contents with our own version, which shapes our view with respect to the human condition. You sought to express solace to a friend, by revealing here, your feelings in your personal perception, so that he would realize, that others can know and experience the dark side as well!
You are a good friend and a wise one as well!
Voted this hub Up! Regards Mike (Aka Professor M!) ;D
@Aka Professor M...Thank you for that insight. You make some very good points in your comments. I appreciate your good words! WB
I apologize for the now obvious spelling mistake of using "contents" instead of CONTENDS in my comment above Wayne. That shows that I too, am quite Human! LOL!
But on a more serious note, the ability to be a friend to someone, who feels the loneliness in their all too real Darkness, is commendable beyond words, Wayne. Few there are, who take the time to extend a hand, by sharing and really understanding the depths that despair and depression can bring a person to.
Fewer still, are those men who will do it, for another man! You have my respect and admiration for being one of those rare individuals, Wayne!
I don't know if you two gentlemen have ever met or if it's only here on HubPages ! That point is irrelevant, the fact that you did this, Wayne gives me hope for our world! Regards Mike (Aka Professor M!) ;D
I am not sure if I ever had to deal wit "the darkside" as such. I had some bad times when I thought I had sunk as low as possible, then things got worse.I guess I survived that so I take things as they come.Or maybe just getting old don't have the time to think about it.
@dahoglund...I am not sure how often many of us visit it but we all know where the door and the staircase are that lead to it, DA. Thanks for the good comments. WB
Wayne, I’ve (almost) missed this one. Just need to say, unfairness committed to us is like oil floating on the surface of water. It takes lots and lots of oil-neutralizer (happiness) to dissolve, and it will surface all over again when we experience the slightest unhappiness. To prevent this re-surfacing one really has to grab all opportunities to be happy. Because there are not enough opportunities, we have to create them, and often we can do that only by draining the ‘oil’. Something we writers can do so easy by writing poems or stories. Feedback (like this poem of yours), assures us we are not the only individuals who were treated unfairly, and this assurance is surely uplifting. To know how others who were in the same boat as we managed and still manage to cope, inspires us to seek harder for the joy we desire.
This is truly an impressive poem and tribute to a man who crept deep into our hearts just because he is - since the beginning - honest to himself and to all of us. Saddle does not have an inflated ego and does not live in self-denial - that is why we love him so much. My wish for him is joy and happiness in abundance before he moves on to the world hereafter.
@MartieCoetser...So glad you didn't miss it! Your comments are beautiful and quite accurate in describing the effect on all of us. Ken writes his verses from the depths of his heart and shares the light with the darkness. I think through our talks here, he is coming to see that we all deal with it at times. Thanks much. WB
Such poetic and insightful comments! I have to agree with mslizzee that it seems that creative people wrestle with their demons more than the average person, but it is this very characteristic that makes us all creative in the first place. We feel more, love more, grieve more, and everything has more colors, more depth, more intensity, both a blessing and a curse. Such a beautiful poem, Wayne, as well as the sentiment that inspired it. It's a wonder to me to read all of the beauty that comes out of so many different kinds of people, so many voices, styles, perspectives. Like a kid in a candy store, I'm eating it all up! Voted up and beautiful!
@ExoticHippieQueen...Definitely....I think my dark side rose much closer to the surface after I began to write regularly. I found that it was the place where I stowed all my hurt and disappointment over decades of time. For me it was like emptying out an old closet and remembering some things that still bit hard at the emotions. All in all it has been a good thing, especially on the writing side, as it seems to help me really connect when I need to on the emotional end of the writing. I think Ken would say the same thing and he has a much larger closet to draw from. LOL! WB
Poohgranma Level 6 Commenter 12 months ago
I have to divide this comment into two parts. First and foremost is you're loyalty to Ken and the reaching out you are doing to let him know you are there. I hope he knows we all are, but just in case, let me say it. Ken, we care so much for you and we do, most of us anyway, know that darkness. I call mine the pit and if you look, you can see the claw marks I leave trying to get out of it time and again. So far, some good soul like Wayne here has come along and let me step on their backs to lift me up to a point where I can grab onto the edges and crawl back onto even ground. All I can say is feel free to let any one of us know when you need a lift.
Secondly, Wayne, your compassion is only outdone by your words and your songs. YOUR songs. You are an amazing writer, songster and friend. Wonderful stuff here, just wonderful.